


On Her Knees

by terraknives



Category: Elyza Lex (Fanverse), Fear the Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Alicia Clark, Bisexual Alicia Clark, F/F, loosely follows ftwd plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:28:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28569261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terraknives/pseuds/terraknives
Summary: It was a usual day in the apocalypse for Elyza Lex, until she came upon a brunette in the middle of the road. When she decided to help the girl, she has no idea what she's getting into.ORWhat if it was Elyza Lex with the SWAT van who found Alicia?
Relationships: Alicia Clark/Elyza Lex
Comments: 10
Kudos: 47





	1. I'll Never Get To See The Ocean

**Author's Note:**

> enjoy ~

It was a usual day in the apocalypse for Elyza Lex.

She was driving down an empty freeway in Texas, looking for shelter while driving her SWAT van. It wasn't her's per say, because it belonged to her - ex - group, but finders keepers - so it was technically her's although many would say otherwise - so when she left she took it with her.

Most of her days for the past week since she left have pretty much been the same. She woke up almost always with the sun, lazed around for a while because she had never had the time for that earlier, painted or sketched on every surface she could - trees, the road, any paper she found lying around - scavenged for supplies wherever she could, lazed around some more because you can never get enough, ate, slept.

Just had a good time in general - not that she deserved it after everything, but there was nothing better to do. Although she did miss human interaction a bit - but she's a hazard for whatever's left of humanity - so it's for the better.

It's been a week since she left Arcadia, she couldn't stay there after what she had done. Even though what she did, she did it to save what used to be her people, they still looked at her like she was a monster and they were not wrong.

So she packed her bags and left in the dead of the night. It's not like anyone would miss her or anything, they're probably glad she left. 

Elyza didn't exactly have a particular destination in mind, but she had never seen the ocean - or been to a beach - and what better time to see the ocean than the apocalypse?

If she died somewhere along the way, it's not like anyone's going to care.

Elyza shook her head of those thoughts - it's no use thinking about all that, the only thing she can do now, is go forward - and turned up the volume of the speaker. She had it connected to the van's battery and thankfully came across a bunch of CDs and she's glad that most of the songs are half decent. 

Currently, her life is as good as it can get.

 _"Alicia Clark! What did you do to my brother?!"_ a man's voice on her walky crackled.

 _"What could you ever mean, Mel."_ a girl - probably Alicia - said tauntingly.

 _"Stop playing games with me, i know you did something."_ Mel growled.

 _"Maybe, maybe not."_ Elyza did not know this Alicia, but she could hear the smirk in her voice, _"But don't worry, you'll see him soon."_

_"Alicia?! ALICIA?! YOU LITTLE BITCH, I WILL FIND YOU AND-"_

Elyza switched off the walky, as bored as she was, she's not interested in listening to some guy shout at the walky. It seemed like the girl was done with the conversation anyways. She wondered what that was about and what exactly Alicia Clark did to his brother.

Anyways, she sounds pretty dangerous, so Elyza should probably avoid the girl - not that she can't handle herself, but precaution is always better than cure, especially in the apocalypse when things can escalate at an alarming rate - if she ever meets her that is. Although the girl did have a pretty voice, maybe she used to be a singer or something? 

_Not that i care or anything._

Elyza rolled down the window, it was pretty hot today, but she still had her jacket on - the weather here can be really unpredictable and wierd - she mindlessly hummed along the tunes. There was a long time till sundown and even if she didn't end up finding any shelter, the van is secure enough and she's got plenty of food and water - she's all set for a long while.

The roads were shockingly empty in this part of Texas, but she spoke too soon.

She saw a lone figure sitting in the middle of the road, under the blistering sun. It wasn't a walker, since they don't sit at all. It was a girl, her brown hair were too long to be a guy's and Elyza couldn't get a clear view because they covered the entirety of her face.

But under the brightness of the sun Elyza could clearly see the dried blood on her clothes. If it was a walker, she would've drove over it without a second thought, but it wasn't and it didn't look like the girl would be moving anytime soon, maybe she was hurt and needed help.

Elyza stopped the van a few meter away from the girl; who barely even flinched or acknowledged her in any form and grabbed her automatic rifle - she hoped she wouldn't have to use it, she's got enough blood on her hands anyways - and slowly walked towards the girl to not startle her.

 _"Hey, are you okay? Do you need some help?"_ Elyza called out.

The girl finally looked up just enough for Elyza to get a glimpse of her eyes and she was surprised by how dull and lifeless they looked and it kind of scared Elyza, because people like that are always dangerous - they've got nothing to loose after all.

The girl slowly stood up, her hand dragging across the burning asphalt and Elyza winced on her behalf, but the girl didn't even flinch. She staggering a bit and Elyza instinctively moved forward to help her stand.

Which was a pretty dumb move on her part.

Before Elyza had a chance to comprehend what exactly happened, she felt an iron grip on the collar of her jacket and a sharp object digging into her neck making a thin stream of blood trickle down her collarbone.

 _"Drop the gun."_ the girl said and her voice sounded a bit familiar?

Elyza did as she was told - not that she had any other choice in that matter - and slowly lowered her gun to the ground with her other held up in surrender lest she spooked the girl. The girl kicked the gun away and roughly shoved Elyza to kneel on the rought asphalt - and she was suddenly glad she didn't wear ripped jeans or shorts - the sharp object still at her throat.

 _"I'm not a stranger to being on my knees for a pretty girl, but they usually don't have a sharp object at my throat."_ Elyza said as she glared at the girl's shoes.

How could she have been so foolish? Of course it was a ploy - to steal her stuff probably, the SWAT was priceless in the apocalypse - and now she was either going to be killed or ditched by the side of the road, probably with nothing.

_I'll never get to see the ocean._

_"Good to know."_ the girl said flatly.

The brunette; who's name Elyza had yet to know crouched down to her level and Elyza was surprised, although her green eyes looked lifeless earlier there was certainly a fire burning under all that - she was actually really pretty, although hot was the better word for it.

Under different - hopefully better - circumstances, Elyza would still be on her knees, worshipping the girl in any and every way possible. 

_"If you're done with your groping session, get your hands off me."_ Elyza scowled, as much as she did enjoy being groped by a pretty girl, now was not the time.

The brunette hesitated for a second before she continued and pulled out a switchblade from Elyza's jacket's inner pocket and the two trench spikes from the holster on her hip.

 _"Where are the keys?"_ she asked.

 _"Why? So you can steal my ride and ditch me at the side of the road?"_ Elyza scoffed.

_"Look, you can either give me the keys peacefully or we can do this the hard way, i don't really care."_

_"Fuck off."_ Elyza spat.

The brunette stared at Elyza, making the blonde squirm and then sighed in annoyance.

Once again, before Elyza could comprehend what happened - or make a smartass comment - she felt a sharp pain in the side of her head and everything went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr](http://terraknives.tumblr.com/) [twitter](https://twitter.com/terraknives)


	2. Don't Worry, I Won't Let You Die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy ~

Alicia looked at the passed out blonde and the truck parked a few meters away, contemplating what to do next. She knew the key was either somewhere on the girl or in the truck itself, that wasn't the problem. 

But what to do about the girl?

She didn't want anyone else involved in this - it's her burden to bear after all - but she needs a ride and she's not cruel enough to just toss the girl out of her own ride like she had speculated.

With a sigh, Alicia hooked the barrel to her jeans, hung the girl's rifle around on back and slid her hands under the girl, lifting her up with a grunt - thanks to all the killing walker and building stuff, she's got pretty good muscles - and carried her to the truck.

Alicia fiddled tried the back door first, thankfully it easily opened and she laid the blonde on the blanket lying on the floor. The back of the truck was a mess, there were clothes strewn about, a bunch of books, empty cans of food and water lying around.

Alicia wasn't a clean freak, but this, this was hell.

She looked around in the mess for something to tie her up with and it was nothing short of a miracle that she found two zipties behind a closed cabinet. That's when she noticed the two machine guns facing a closed hatch - the girl was prepared and strong, but she was too nice.

Alicia pulled up the blonde and tied her hands behind her back to a pole - that was probably used as support to stand when the vehicle moved - so she can't move too much. She moved to the front console to find the keys already in the socket and a sketchbook laying on the passenger seat.

Curiosity got the best of Alicia and she grabbed the sketchbook as she settled in the driver's side. She openes the fist page to see a name - Elyza Lex - written in a sprawly, loopy handwriting and smiled. 

Quickly schooling her features - not that anyone was around to look - she turned the page and her eyes widened at the scene drawn, there was way too much skin and way too little clothes - infact there were no clothes - on the two bodies drawn in an intimate position and the art was pretty realistic.

Alicia skimmed through the rest to find all the drawings were pretty much the same. Well, art is art and despite what was drawn, it looked pretty good - maybe she used to be an artist of something.

_Not that I care._

Alicia kept the sketchbook from where she picked it and turned the key. The engine spluttered and groaned for a moment before starting with a steady hum. Alicia was surprised by the melody coming from the speakers she hadn't noticed.

She stepped on the accelerator hesitantly. She was pretty confident in her driving skills, but she's never really drove something this big.

But, how hard can it be? 

* * *

Turns out, not that hard. 

With the songs playing through the speaker at a low volume and the soft breathing of the blonde, time passed quickly. Alicia stopped the truck at the field where they had stored a cache of guns, just in case.

The sun is already set and the few strands of light in the sky would soon fade into the dark and Alicia can't help but think how fitting that is. She pocketed the keys and crawled into the back of the truck to grab the shovel she saw in the mess.

 _"I'm sorry."_ Elyza whimpered.

Alicia frowned as she turned around, Elyza's eyes were closed, but her breathing was harsh and she was trembling - a nightmare.

 _"Hey. Wake up."_ Alicia shook her.

Elyza's eyes shot open. She took in her surrounding with unfocused eyes, she was having trouble breathing and her body trembled uncontrollably. She couldn't see the girl sitting in front of her or hear anything expect the screams of those people.

Alicia quickly pulled out her butteefly knife and cut open the ziptie and the blonde immediately curled up into herself. She buried her face between her knees and circled her arms around herself squeezing tightly to stop herself from panicking.

 _"Hey, it's okay."_ Alicia gently pried open her clenched fist, thankfully her nails hadn't managed to cut the skin yet.

 _"Stay with me okay?"_ Alicia said softly and placed the blonde's hand over her heart.

Elyza lifted her head as she heard a soft melodic voice and a steady beat under the palm of her hand, straight into the greenest eyes she's probably ever seen. 

_"Can you tell me three things you can see?"_ Alicia asked when Elyza's eyes focused a bit on her.

_"Y...y..ou....cl...othes...gre..en."_

_"Good, can you tell me three things you can hear?"_

_"You....cric..kets...grow...ling."_

Alicia's frowned at the mention of growling, she'll deal with it later, the truck looks pretty secure anyways.

 _"You're doing great love, now tell me one thing you can feel."_ Alicia left out the smells because there wasn't any distinct smell around.

Alicia blamed her habit of calling people 'love' on the british tourist she used ti hand around with at the diamond. The girl always went around calling people love and now Alicia's picked up on that - Olivia hadn't escaped the stadium with the others, so she's probably dead.

_"Your heart."_

_"Good, just take a deep breath. You're okay."_

Elyza nodded and tried to match her breathing with the rise and fall of the brunette's chest, the steady beat under her palm helped her calm down a bit.

The nightmare was a really bad one - not that any can be good - she was back at the mountain, hearing the screams of all those people she killed, watching them die. All because of her.

 _"You okay now?"_ Alicia asked.

 _"Yeah. Thanks."_ Elyza sighed.

 _"Good."_ Alicia released the blonde's hand - that was still on her chest - and pointed the butterfly knife at Elyza's throat, _"Don't move."_

 _"These are some really mixed signals here."_ Elyza grumbled.

Alicia pulled out the second ziptie from her pocket and tied up the blonde's hands back to their previous position.

 _"Oh, come on! After everything we've been through?"_ Elyza groaned.

Alicia pursed her lips and sat opposite the blonde, but didn't reply.

" _At least tell me your name. I'm Elyza."_

 _"I know."_ Alicia said.

 _"You do?"_ Elyza frowned. She's met this girl before - she wouldn't forget someone as pretty as this.

Alicia grabbed the sketchbook from the passenger seat and waved it around with a smirk, _"Nice art though."_

Elyza blushed and averted her gaze when she realized which sketchbook that is. She wasn't shy, per say, but that didn't mean she wanted a total stranger - not to mention who looked like a fucking goddess - to go through her really personal stuff.

_Ughh, just kill me now._

_"Since you know my name, isn't it polite to tell me yours too."_ she said instead.

 _"What about this situation seems polite to you."_ the brunette raised an eyebrow.

Elyza pursed her lips, sighed and slumped against the pole in the most comfortable position she could find - not that the pole digging in her back was comfortable. 

_"What do you want from me?"_ she asked.

_"I don't want anything from you, just shut up and be good."_

_"I'm the bad guy in everyone's story, so i don't think i can do the second one._ " Elyza smirked, _"Yeah, i don't think I can do the first one either."_

The brunette frowned and stared at Elyza before sighing and looking away. She opened a bottle of water and drank some. Elyza's mouth went dry as a few stray drops trickled down the side of her mouth and all she wanted to do was lick -

 _"Nope."_ she muttered and shook her head, missing the amused look on the brunette's face.

Was she seriously attracted to the girl who's held her hostage? Yeah, her dry spell has gone way too long, but there aren't exactly many options in the apocalypse - well, not good one's anyways.

Although, she would be lying if she didn't find the brunette insanely attractive, despite the fact that she had kidnapped her. Stockholm syndrome maybe? Or maybe it's just the brunette.

 _"Alicia Clark, that's my name."_ the brunette spoke, with a far away look in her eyes.

Elyza's eyes widened - no wonder the voice was familiar.

 _"I heard you on the walky. What did you do to Mel's brother?"_ as soon as she spoke, the blonde realized she shouldn't have.

Alicia's eyes darkened and her jaw clenched hard enough that the blonde could practically hear the grinding of teeth. She lunged for Elyza and roughly yanked her up. 

_"Are you with them?"_ Alicia growled.

The zip ties dig into Elyza's wrists and she cried out in pain, _"_ _I don't know what you're talking about."_

Alicia stared into her eyes for a while, looking for something. Suddenly she let her go and the blonde slumped down - at least it provided a much needed reprieve to her wrists, even though her ass hurt.

 _"I killed his brother."_ Alicia said emotionlessly and walked out the backdoor with a shovel.

Elyza stared outside the backdoor - the only thing visible was an empty field though - with a frown. She was a pretty good judge of character, so she knew Alicia wasn't a bad person - yeah, she did kidnap her, but she also helped her through a panic attack when she didn't have to, Elyza's still alive & uninjured and Alicia doesn't even want anything from her - so why would she do something like that? 

She'll figure out the brunette sooner or later, but she really needs to get her hands free.

Elyza sighed and twisted her hand around, but Alicia was pretty thorough so there wasn't much movement and if she tried too much, she might end up cutting her wrist open. It didn't look like Alicia moved things around in the back, so that was good.

Elyza streched her leg to reach under the bench and blindly reached out for the carving knife she remembers throwing down there in frustration when she couldn't get the shape of a wolf right.

She pulled her foot back immediately when she heard shuffling from outside that definitely did not sound dead, but was too heavy to belong to the brunette - Alicia wouldn't just leave her here to someone's mercy, right? 

When the green-eyes brunette appeared with a shovel in hand, Elyza didn't know whether to be relieved or worried that the brunette might bury her soon with the shovel she was holding. There was a loud bang as Alicia tossed it in the back of the van and Elyza winced at the noise.

 _"Are you out of your mind? Any louder and you'll bring all the dead here._ " she snapped.

Alicia locked the van door and turned around with dirt covering her cheek and her hair all over the place. She looked tired and angry and maybe a little bit - okay a lot - adorable. She didn't look like someone who could've murdered someone in coldblood, but looks can be deceiving.

 _"Don't worry, i won't let you die._ _"_ Alicia said.

Elyza opened her mouth to say something and promptly closed it again. Now she's really confused by the brunette's actions - at first she sort of kidnapped her, then it turns out she killed a man and is probably going to kill another guy and doesn't even look remorseful, and she's still being good to Elyza

Not being able to figure out Alicia infuriated Elyza.

 _"What's up with you?"_ Elyza asked.

Alicia slide off a gun - that Elyza just noticed - and gently kept it beside her and removed a sharpened gun barrel from a hook around her waist and made herself comfortable on the floor of the van.

Elyza would begrudgingly admit the silence and the nonchalance of her actions were really unnerving - seriously she not know how to react? - but somehow she held off long enough for Alicia to sigh and look at her with a raised eyebrow.

_"Why are you going this? Why didn't you just kill me off like you did with Mel's brother? Why leave me alive?"_

_"Would you rather i kill you?"_

_"Why didn't you? You could've just ditched at the side of the road and I know I'm pissing you off, atleast a bit. So why am I still here?"_

Alicia stared at the blonde. She didn't owe her any explanation, she could just gag her and be done with it, but Elyza is looking at her with so much understanding and Alicia is exhausted.

 _"Mel and his brother Ennis, killed my family and destroyed our settlement, that's why i have to kill them. You haven't given me any reason too."_ Alicia said, _"Yet."_

 _"You can't just kill people because you think they deserve it."_ Elyza argued.

 _"Yes, I can."_

_"Okay, maybe you can, but you shouldn't. I know the world is full of shitty people, but you don't have to be one of them and I know you are not_ _a savage Alicia."_

_"We are what we are, Elyza."_ Alicia said and closed her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a comment, cuz they honestly make my day :)
> 
> [tumblr](http://terraknives.tumblr.com/) [twitter](https://twitter.com/terraknives)


	3. What the fuck just happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy ~

_"Where are we going?"_ Elyza asked as she slowly worked on her bindings with the carving knife.

She's glad she's a messy person.

_"Just stay in the van, you'll be fine."_ Alicia said in an annoyingly monotonous voice.

_"Yeah, i don't think so."_ Elyza smirked.

Alicia frowned and glanced back to check on her sort-of prisoner, just in time to face the barrel of a gun. Her hands froze on the steering wheel and she held her breathe for whatever the blonde is about to do next - which probably can't be anything good.

What both of them failed to notice while glaring - gazing - at each other was that the van was still speeding and there was a turn ahead.

Elyza's eyes widened as she finally tore them away from green ones. 

In hindsight, she should've thought this through a bit more and not held the driver at gun point - effectively distracting her - while she was still driving, but in her defense she got a bit too excited after cutting through the ziptie.

Alicia let out a string of impressive profanities - tha Elyza totally did not find hot - as she slammed the breaks, but it was no use since the slope was too slippery, adding the momentum of the van to that and the van crashed into a tree with a loud bang.

Elyza lost the gun and her balance on the way down as the van overturned and crashed to a stop. She would've been a bit concerned about the state of her ride after all this if the only thing between her and getting impaled by a piece of wood that she had in the back of the van is a barely conscious Alicia.

She's not glad to be a messy person anymore.

With a grunt Elyza blindly reached forward to grab something to pull herself up - before Alicia passes out and she gets impaled - when a loud blaring sound startled her and thankfully Alicia, who despite her confused and startled state didn't let go of the blonde and quickly pulled her up so she wasn't hanging over a spike anymore.

_"Shut it off!"_ Alicia groaned and clutched her head - the blood flowing from a cut on above her temple coating her entire hand.

_"I'm trying!"_ Elyza shot back as she tried to shut off the horn, but she had pulled the plug earlier and now it's stuck.

Finally after a few painful seconds - that felt like hours to the duo - of fiddling, Elyza managed to shut off the horn. She sighed in relief and turned to her companion. The smug look quickly changed into concern when she saw her bloody hands and the blood running down her face and neck.

Before Elyza could say anything, Alicia glared at her and if she wasn't terrified of the brunette earlier, she sure is now - and who wouldn't be if someone covered in blood is seething at them - although Elyza is stuck somewhere between scared for life and turned on.

_"You're dumber than I thought."_ Alicia spat, _"Why the fuck would you distract me while I was driving?!"_

_"Why the fuck did you kidnap me?!"_ Elyza shot back even though the other girl did have a point, but Elyza was a bit on edge from nearly dying - again.

_"Couldn't you just stay put for a few more hours, i would've left you alone after I was done."_ Alicia said, her voice breaking slightly, _"I told you I don't want anything from you and that i wouldn't let you die!"_

_"Well, sorry for not trusting the girl who fucking kidnapped me!"_ The two glared at each other.

Alicia closed her eyes and took a deep breath, getting angry won't do anyone any good right now, expect the walkers trying to get in through the windshield which was still in one peice - although a bit cracked.

She slowly removed her seatbelt with a wince and prodded her ribs to make sure they weren't broken. She didn't have too much medical knowledge but it's easy to tell when something is broken and her ribs were definitely not. Although they were probably bruised.

The blood from the cut was coating most of her face and neck, but thankfully she didn't have a concussion - that would've been troublesome. So Alicia just shrugged on her jacket and stared at the walkers trying to get her through the front glass, thinking of a new plan.

_"Are you okay?"_ Elyza asked, uncomfortable by the brunette's silence.

_"I'm stuck in a overturned vehicle with an idiot and all the walkers from at least five miles away must've heard us, but yeah, i am okay."_

Elyza opened her mouth to say something, but closed it again - there's no use of bickering right now - she pursed her lips and turned away from the brunette to look at the back of the truck, it was a mess - even more than earlier - and with the way the dead were banging on the backdoor it was not an option.

She crawled into the back and riffled around in search of some kind of weapon and was glad to find her machete. She turned around when she heard the creak of the door opening to see Alicia looking back at her, with two rifles and her backpack strung across her back and the sharpened barrel in her hand.

_"We need to leave now or else we'll be trapped in here."_ she said.

_"I can't leave the van. All my shit is here."_

_"You need to. For now. This won't hold forever and they won't stop trying as long as we're in here."_

_"I know."_

Elyza sighed and crawled back to the front. Alicia pulled herself up the door first and helped Elyza out. The two stood on the side of the surrounded van. There were at least a hundred walkers and there was no doubt in their minds that more were coming.

Elyza pointed at the other side of the van where the walker circle was the thinnest and the two got to work, stabbing their way through the oncoming slaughter of clacking jaws until there was enough space for them to climb down.

Elyza stabbed through the walker that got way too close to Alicia and the latter sent her a grateful smile. 

It was the first real smile Elyza saw on the brunette and even through the haze of the adrenaline rush, she felt a warmth bloom in her chest. She wanted to see more of the brunette - not the sad and angry part of her, but the warm part of her that was buried somewhere under that sorrow.

But they would have to make out of here alive first, so getting to know Alicia would have to wait. 

_"The slope's too slippery, they won't be able to climb easily. But we need to be careful of the one's coming from above."_ Elyza said.

_"Okay."_

The slope wasn't too steep and it would've been really easy climbing it if it weren't for the slipperyness. It would've been even more easy if the two worked together, but they were too stubborn.

_"Alicia!"_ Elyza shouted and shoved her away just as a bunch of walkers stumbled down.

Elyza stabbed her machete into the ground and held on to it as she covered Alicia with her body, while a few walkers stumbled into the growing pile below. Alicia grunted and winced as the pain in her chest flared up again.

_"Alicia?"_

Alicia hadn't realized that her eyes were closed, but when she opened them, she was greeted by the warmest blue she's ever seen and for a moment, she forgot all about the pain, the sorrow, the anger and the thrist for vengeance. 

She felt safe.

But that bubble was soon broken by the murky white eyes, clacking jaw and the choking gurgle in Alicia periphery.

Elyza hadn't noticed the walker behind them, she was too mesmerized by the girl under her. It was only for a moment, but the brunette seemed relaxed - content - and the warmth from earlier had returned.

Alicia pushed Elyza away and stabbed the gun barrel through the walker's throat. She winced again as the dead weight fell on top of her. But Elyza was already there, pushing the body off her and helping her up.

_"I won't let you die."_ Alicia whispered.

Elyza choked back the torrent of emotions stirring in her chest at those words and the soft, unguarded expression. It didn't feel like they were stranger - one of whom had kidnapped the other - it felt intimate. 

_"We should.... we should hurry."_ she stuttered.

_"Yeah."_ Alicia nodded.

The two silently pulled themselves up the road as the walkers from below started to get the hang of climbing upwards. It wouldn't be long before they reach the duo or get distracted by the next meal that comes their way. 

Elyza looked down at the wreck her van had become and sighed in relief. It wasn't too bad, the van was just overturned and surrounded by a few walkers - rest of them were trying to climb up the slippery slopes or aimlessly walking around - it wouldn't take much time for the walkers to disperse, then Elyza could pull the van back up.

If she had a tow truck.

For now, they needed to get further away from here, so she grabbed Alicia's wrist and pulled them away from the wreck.

_"Stop."_ Alicia pulled away from Elyza after a few minutes of running.

_"You should've focused more on cardio."_ the blonde said even though she wasn't in a better shape.

_"Says you."_ Alicia scoffed and sat in the middle of the road to take a break.

Her head was aching and the pain in her chest didn't seem to be doing her any favors. But she had a job to do and nothing would stop her from that, even if she has to walk the rest of the way - it's not that far anyways.

_"Let me see, i spent most of my childhood in a hospital watching my mom fix people."_ Elyza said gesturing to the blood dripping down from a gash on her forehead - it probably needs stitches.

_"Don't touch me."_ Alicia snapped.

_"I'm just trying to help!"_

_"I don't need your help!"_

_"Fine. Just give me back my gun and we can be on our way."_

_"Fine."_

Alicia removed Elyza's rifle off her shoulder with a wince and tossed it towards the blonde who caught it with surprised look on her face - she hadn't expected it to be easy and she didn't actually wanted to leave Alicia.

_"There a truck depot that way, you'll find something to get the van out."_ Alicia pointed to the way they originally came from.

_"Wait! Where are you going?"_

_"To finish what they started."_ Alicia said more to herself than the blonde.

Elyza watched the brunette walk away in the opposite direction with a frown.

_What the fuck just happened?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think in the comments :)


	4. What A Nerd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy ~

_"I can't fucking believe her!"_ Elyza scoffed, _"How could she just leave?!"_  
  
Elyza stabbed her machete through a walker's skull with more force than required, making her stumble forward slightly. 

A few of the walkers from the crash had followed her and she's kind of glad they did because she needed to take the anger out on something and what better than something dead that needs to be put down.  
  
She was angry, annoyed and confused - never a good combo - at Alicia's actions and words.  
  
At first, the brunette hijacked the van and snooped around her stuff - maybe it was a little bit of Elyza's fault for leaving her practically porn drawings out, but she didn't expect to have guests, very rude guests - then she almost ripped Elyza's arms off at the mention of whoever Mel is and got all murderous and then they had that moment at the slope and now Elyza doesn't know what to think.  
  
It might sound pathetic, but no one's ever said that to her. No one's ever protected her, even before the world went to shit. She was always so strong and self sufficient, but deep down, she just wanted someone to care.

After the dead rose, she's always been the to make sure no one died or got hurt and she's always looked after other's - even if that made her the bad guy - she never expected anything in return and everyone took that for granted.  
  
In her last - and also the first - settlement, the Ark, she was always the one putting herself in danger so the others wouldn't have to. When the mountain men started picking off people from the Ark, she made a choice, she choose to save her own people - ex people - instead of the hundreds of kids and families living in the mountain. 

She's given every part of herself, but never got anything in return.

It broke her, having to see all those people die - 300 of them - those little kids screaming as the fire consumed them, but she did it for her people and in return, her people treated her as some kind of monster, only good for hurting others.

They weren't really wrong, because that's all she's ever been good at - hurting others.

So, she left.

She didn't want to hurt people anymore, so if she wouldn't be around others, she wouldn't be able to hurt them, right?

But, then there's Alicia and those words she said - I won't let you die _-_ and the sincerity with which they were spoken, baffled her.

How can someone she just met - someone who kidnapped her and was ready to kill her at just the mention of some guy - care about her more than the people she gave everything for?  
  
Is Alicia is a crazy murderer?

Or is she just someone who's trying to live?  
  
Elyza didn't know, but maybe, just maybe, Alicia was just like her and just maybe, Elyza could be around someone without hurting them, because being alone in the apocalypse, is a lonely, boring affair and definitely not good for anyone's sanity.  
  
Elyza knew, she couldn't let Alicia go.  
  
She finally reached the truck depot Alicia told her about and walked into what would've been the office, but now it's just another abandoned building and thanked the universe that the keys were hanging on a board besides the door and they were labelled - a bit faded, but readable.  
  
She grabbed the key of a tow truck.  
  
Now that she had decided to help Alicia do whatever the girl wants to - and maybe try and stop her from killing those people - all that's left to do is get the van out of the ditch.  
  
The thing Elyza doesn't get was why Alicia wanted to kill Mel. It's not like killing him would bring back her family and as good as revenge sounds, it doesn't work that way. The guilt will eat you up on the inside and she doesn't want that for Alicia - she wouldn't want that for anyone.  
  
She checked up the tow truck to make sure everything was okay and it had enough fuel to get her where she wanted to - which it did, small mercies of the universe.  
  
She drove to the van, fully expecting it to be surrounded, but to her surprise, it wasn't. There were just about a dozen stragglers and quite a lot of dead bodies that were actually dead.  
  
She jumped down the tow truck, her gun at ready in case of another not-so-friendly encounter and looked around with a frown, who did this? And why?  
  
 _"Hello? Anybody there?"_  
  
She looked around carefully, but there was no sign of anyone being around whatsoever, so she just shrugged and thanked whoever cleaned up the place.

After she took care of the stragglers, Elyza grabbed the hook of the tow to connect it with the van. Whoever did this just made her work a thousand times easier, but she was still a bit cautious.  
  
She reached the tail of the van and saw a small piece of paper stuck between the back doors.

It wasn't there when she and Alicia parted.  
  
 _ **Sorry for all the troubles, hijacking your van, hitting you and all that.**_  
 _ **This is the least i could do.**_  
  
 _"Alicia."_ Elyza whispered, caressing the paper, a small smile adorning her face at the elegantly written words and just the entire gesture.

 _"What a nerd."_ Elyza shook her head, " _A dangerous, deadly nerd with beautiful writing."_

She neatly folded the paper and tucked it in her breast pocket. If she had any doubts about Alicia earlier, they're all gone now.

She's going to find Alicia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a while since i updated this one, i had this half-written for a while, but couldn't find the motivation to complete it, but here we are now.
> 
> let me know what you think about it in the comments:)  
> your comments are all the motivation i need ;)
> 
> [tumblr](http://terraknives.tumblr.com/) [twitter](https://twitter.com/terraknives)

**Author's Note:**

> leave a comment cuz they honestly make my day :)
> 
> [tumblr](http://terraknives.tumblr.com/) [twitter](https://twitter.com/terraknives)


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